This contribution is partly inspired by the dozen or so people who inquired about my writing group but also partly inspired by a paragraph in an article I read this morning about someone who decided to walk around the United Kingdom and the effect it had on him. I could give you the link but it is a subscription-based site medium.com
“Through two years of prioritising self-care after suffering a breakdown, I felt better than ever before. The breakup with my ex had been the catalyst for my unraveling in the past, but I had recovered from the anxiety and depression and any other feelings that it caused”
I am not implying anything of anybody who came to our place in Sunridge Close but it does remind me of the effect that our individual attempts to form and maintain a relationship both with ourselves and others can often have messy after effects.
You came because you were interested in writing a book. I don’t doubt that for a moment but I’m asking myself, what did this symbolize? Maybe it is a purgative. Maybe there is something that needs to be exorcised in order that you can move on in which case writing is an excellent way to go about it.
Maybe you have a book inside you, simple as that.
However, the precursors of actually writing are something like the process of giving birth. The idea has to be fertilized, grow in the womb and finally come to term and I am the first to acknowledge that this is not an easy process.
First of all I get the impression that to start something most people have to come to some sort of crisis or fork in the road then have the courage to face it and perhaps tell a friend.
If that still leaves something to do then possibly putting something in writing. If you are not used to doing such things it is like cranking up a rusty engine.
At the same time as these thoughts we have all the exigences of running your life, finding money to pay the bills, dealing with the everydayness of your life and its demands, so to find the time and the focus to write anything is, I agree, not something that you can just create out of thin air.
Three or four people cited illness as the reason for not showing up. We are not a particularly fit race of people. During the winter we do not get our dose of Vitamin C or D.
In order to write, the single most important feature you need is honesty and lack of pride. In other words to admit that your life has not gone so brilliantly or indeed has been a success and you somehow want to enshrine it in some way; to look at the good and the not so good.
As a counsellor and certified coach of nearly 50 years I’m so used to such things that they have become normal to me and in consequence I’m long past any judgment or shock. It is part of the feature of being a human being, a bit like breathing really, and should be no cause for shame. We could call it a learning experience in the school of life.
So unless you can come out with honest statement about yourself you will be a bit like a wounded person who doesn’t want their private life interfered with. The problem is that this can go on for years and years and you don’t make any progress.
There is no magic helper out there except yourself.
Returning to our local fledgling group of would – be writers I’m going to make no attempt to even think about which group you might fall into if indeed you fall into a group at all, I’m just giving you my observations over the years.
Outside the regular meetings that we planned you will very welcome to come and visit Francoise and myself to chat about what you might write about sometime in the future. We all have to start somewhere and such events are seldom tidy.
Sometimes it takes something extreme such as a death or a bad injury or a divorce to kick start us into the world of reality but again that is not for me to judge.
I’m going to pause the regular meeting for the moment for us all to consider our positions. Meanwhile I will continue to gather interested parties.
This analogy may help – See me as someone who loves showing their prize lettuces to anyone who visits their greenhouse. Pride is pride and skill is skill. I love growing lettuces and always will do. I’m glad to share my expertise so others may enjoy the same thing. I am not interested in charging admittance to the greenhouse. I am interested in sharing skills.
So to sum up: whatever state of mind you’re in, frustrated, a bit lonely, still suffering from the effect of a relationship, wonder if life is worth living, or just plain curious it’s all bread and butter to me.
I hope that puts the Somer Valley Writers group in some perspective. If you wish to be deleted from any future communication then just let me know.
If you don’t want to engage even to write a letter just the word ‘unsubscribe’ will do.
The only topic of a future communication will be to tell you that we now have enough people gathered together and it is worth restarting.
Meanwhile if you wish to visit us and have a chat you are welcome to email or call and set up a time.
Think of the analogy of the prize lettuce 🙂
Brian and Francoise
An honest reply!!!!
Hello Brian
I found your email very thought provoking, & recognised myself in there. I came to the first meeting & then decided it wasn’t for me. I couldn’t explain why honestly because I didn’t know.
I used to do a lot of humorous writing when my life was happy, but since losing several of the most important people in my life & the hassles attached to some of it, I haven’t really been happy & I’ve lost a lot of confidence.
The email made me think & make this much sense of why I can’t write. In turn I wonder if I do have need to exchange thoughts with other wouldbe writers. Some of them may be feeling the same.
If possible I’d like to be kept on the list.
Regards
anon
15th February 2025